And so this is Christmas?

It's the least wonderful time of the year.

That's right, folks. It's Christma..er, I mean, the holiday sea... Wait. Can we come to a consensus on what we're to call this season (other than F&+#$% Winter!) ?

See, this is why there is so much conflict and stress in the world. We can't even put aside our differences to figure out a way to send each other best wishes at what greeting card companies tell us is supposed to be such a joyous occassion.

And really, are the holidays really all that joyous an occassion? And I'm not talking just in retail, although I'll start there.

I realize it's been three long years since I had to work retail over the Christmas season but really, how much can it have changed? I really don't think that as soon as ol' JM left his job at the mall, every customer decided to be nice and understanding and cut their ignorance level to nil. If I went back to Coles or Blockbuster and stood behind the counter for eight hours, I'm willing to bet every single penny I have that the ignorance and rudeness of the average retail customer at Christmas will still be at pre-2006 levels. :)

And while I've heard that the malls are quieter this year, thanks to the failing economy, I'm guessing that dealing with the rush of a mall on a Saturday afternoon for eight hours in the weeks before Christmas is still like going to war without the LAVs or Strykers to back you up.

But here's the kicker: Over the last couple of years, there has been a movement afoot to make the holidays even more stressful for those who work in retail. (Okay, I'm sure it's not a concerted effort to make the lives of retail workers even more miserable...)

See, for many years, retail workers have been able to wish everyone a "Happy Holidays" without fear that they might be offending anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Of course, I always felt it was kind of a kick in the face to us retailers, wishing people "Happy Holidays" when we're in the midst of being run off our feet for eight-plus hours a day and having to work right up until the last moments pre-Christmas and then having to be in extra early on Boxing Day (unless you work at Blockbuster or some other place where the high-paid big wigs, in the midst of a two week vacation, decide you have to work Christmas Day so the store can earn a few extra bucks), In a way, it was almost like saying "Enjoy your time off from those of us who have to work even harder to serve you at the expense of similar time with our own family and friends. Feel free to make us feel like crap because we can't fulfill all your gift-giving needs when you show up at 5 minutes to close on Christmas Eve or can't figure out what you mean when you 'I need that thing I saw on TV' or are unable to deal with 5 customers at once." 

But over the last couple of years, that safety net of "Happy Holidays" has begun to be taken away. Apparently there is an increasingly vocal segment of the population who take great offense to being wished "Happy Holidays" or "Seasons Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas".

So, if I get this straight, the poor b&st#rds stuck behind the festive cash registers this year, in addition to having to listen to 56 different versions of Winter Wonderland and having people deposit themselves at the cash and expect you to run around and find everything on their 10-page list, they now have to worry that they'll find themselves chewed out because they offended someone by wishing them "Happy Holidays".  What is expected? To have to preface every transaction with "How would you like to be greeted?"

Geez, can we give the retail workers a break, especially at this time of year? Leave them "Seasons Greetings" or "Happy Holidays". Or hey, how about they just don't wish anybody anything? And why stop at the retailers. Why not pass a law that say you can;'t wish anyone anything.

 Not "Merry Christmas" because that might offend anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Not "Happy Holidays" because that might offend anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas.  Not "Good morning" because what if they're from another time zone where it's now evening. Not "Hello" because what if they don't use English as their native tongue.

How about we just stop talking to other people altogether? There'd be a great way to promote peace and harmony.