27 posts from 2008

Okay, so some might question why I do a pair of "2008 Year in Review"-type columns in the days up to New Year's Eve, only to type up a standard "Here's What's New" entry on said Eve itself. Oh well, that's just the way I roll here on my blog. Hey, I figure it's my blog, I can roll anyway I want to.

So, as I'm writing this, I'm sitting in front of a New Year's-related movie "When Harry Met Sally..." (If I'd planned it better I would have stuck in More American Grafitti, another movie that takes place on New Year's Eve. And at only 13 minutes in, "When Harry Met Sally..." like every other 20th century flick set in New York, dates itself with a shot of the Twin Towers.

Man...even when she was supposed to be living in the late 1970s, Meg Ryan looks amazing. Not so much in 1982 but then later on in the film (as I recall) she gets better.

With the New Year, I decided to spruce things up. For a couple of days before the break and over Christmas, I decided to get lazy and not shave. However, it was time for me to get a hair cut and a shave. Just for sh!ts and giggles, I decided to do the before and after shot.

Beforeafter

 Okay, shut the f&ck up. Yeah, I looked like crap...and even worse in the before picture. (bad-um-bump! Thanks, I'm here all week!) I will say this. I feel a lot better with the shave and a haircut than I did before. Man, the beard gets itchy after a while.

With the time off, I've managed to nearly finish off that pesky To Do list that I always seem to be working on. I have a couple of e-mails to write tomorrow and at some point (possibly Friday or Saturday night) I want to pull an all-nighter and work away on my novel manuscript. Speaking of which, I sent a query off to a New York agency in the hopes of getting some representation towards the eventual publication. (Something I want to do a lot more of, if need be, in 2009.)

Meanwhile, I've been reading a lot over the last few days. I picked up several books at Chapters the other day, thanks to a Christmas gift card. I picked up Fifteen Days: Stories of Bravery, Friendship, Life and Death in the New Canadian Army by Christie Blatchford, and Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman. I've read a bit of both and enjoying both.

I'm continuing to read Last Flag Down by John Baldwin and Ron Powers. In addition, I'm also reading Dawn over Kitty Hawk by Walter J. Boyne, which is a fictionalized recounting of the Wright Brothers' invention of the airplane. I've had it for a while but just got around to it now. It's pretty good. 

 Well, I am going to close down. (Man, what a lame entry to end 2008.) Hope the hangovers from all the parties aren't too horrible.

Just remember "When the sh!t comes down, I'm going to be prepared and you're not."

Lyz De Marco's Facebook status says that she's excited for 2008 to be over. As one reads through the thread, another of her friends asks if the bad really outweighed the good in 2008. That got me to thinking, not whether or not the bad really outweighed the good, but that for all my bitching and complaining, 2008 had its share of good moments. I decided that I probably could list at least a Top 10 Good Things That Happened to Me In 2008. And since I'm in a giving mood, I decided to share that list with you, my loyal readers....all three or four of you. So for you Kelly, Angela, Sean, Sue, Cory (did you make the jump from Geocities to Vox?) and whoever else is out there...here is that list (in no particular order, save that #1 would be #1 were I to go ahead and rank them.

1. The birth and early life of Jack Peter Nolan Goodwin, my nephew, who will turn six months old on New Year’s Day. If there’s a better site to behold than that wide-open mouth laugh of his, I don’t know that I’ve seen it.
2. In early March, Angela and I traveled to Hamilton to see Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band in concert. Anyone who has never seen Springsteen live is certainly missing a great experience. In seeing Bruce, you know you’re seeing a true legend and future Hall of Famer in action. And I can never hear “Dancing in the Dark” the same way again.
3. On Valentine’s Day, after several months of unemployment, I received a job offer from General Dynamics Land Systems - Canada. Not only was I thrilled to be offered a job that meant I didn’t have to go back to retail, but to have the chance to work in the defense industry? How cool was that? If you’ve read my blogs below, you know that I am immensely proud of the work that goes on at GDLS-C. The job has given me a chance to put so much of my background experience and skills to work. (And hey, would I have been able to ride in a U.S. Army Stryker and a United States Marine Corps LAV if I was still working retail?)
4. One of the great fringe benefits of working for GDLS-C is all the important people I have met. I never get a chance to really brag about having shaken the hand of Brigadier General Denis Thompson, Commander of Joint Task Force Afghanistan, mostly because the only time he’s seen on TV is when a Canadian is killed there, but I have met the man. I’ve also met the odd Marine or U.S. Army Colonel as well as various military VIPs as they’ve come through the plant for one reason or another. But certainly the biggest VIP I’ve seen and met at work is Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who toured the plant during a brief stop in London back in August. Not only did I get to follow his entourage around, but at the end of the tour, I got (at his suggestion, no less) a photo op with the leader of our nation. I’m sure there are probably many political types out there who would frown at my being proud of having my photo taken with the Prime Minister, but I have that photo on my dresser even as I type.
5. Reuniting with some old friends on Facebook. The Internet can have it’s plus and minuses as far as I’m concerned in this regard. I mean, while it’s great to be able to reconnect with old friends, family members and former co-workers, it’s also kinda sad to find out that some people don’t want to reconnect (or think they do one day and then decide they don’t the next). However, let’s look at the positive, shall we? I couldn’t tell you for sure how many more entries on my Facebook friend’s list I have now than I did a year ago, but I do know I have managed to reconnect with quite a few people in 2008. And there is one person in particular (and I won’t say who he or she is, but they know who they are) for whom reconnecting through Facebook is something I have been wanting to do for years. I truly “cherish” our correspondence as of late and hope it can continue. For all 152 members of my Facebook Friends list (and everyone else for that matter), I hope that 2009 is an enriching year. Drop me a line from time to time and we’ll catch up where we need to.
6. Total Nonstop Action Wrestling finally came to Canada and even though Oshawa got the pay-per-view, they delivered a pretty satisfying house show at the John Labatt Centre in London, for which I was in attendance. Even though, with my Thursday nights being very Office-centric, I don’t really watch TNA all that much, I still try and keep tabs on what is going on with their storylines and title pictures. And it was great to see a strong show by someone other than WWE in London. (Ironically, I’m planning to write a blog about the wrestling situation in London in the near future and woke up Christmas morning, more or less rough-drafting it in my head.) It was great to see Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe and Petey Williams (and I’m sure I’m forgetting someone or other) in action for the first time. Despite barely filling half the arena, the men and women of the TNA roster made the audience feel as if they were at the Skydome for a pay-per-view. The highlight for me was seeing the Phenomenal A.J. Styles in action. I’ve been a big fan of Styles’ for many years, so to be able to watch him hit the Styles clash and the Pele kick live was awesome. I would hope that this is not the last time TNA comes to London (and that there’s a bigger turn out next time.) And of course, as I said, TNA wasn’t the only wrestling in London over the course of 2008. Although unless I’ve forgotten something, there were no local indy shows here, WWE did come for a Smackdown/ECW taping, which is always an experience to be enjoyed. The WWE sure knows how to go all out when they do their TV tapings. Batista, CM Punk, commentators Jim Ross and Mick Foley, Edge and Vickie Guerrero and Tommy Dreamer were all on hand. I forget who Dreamer fought but man, did they do a wicked hardcore match.
7. It had been almost 20 years since I’d walked the halls but in late January/early February, I found myself back in the Residence at Lambton College. Because the actual student housing has been moved over to a former motel on the edge of the college campus, our old “Res” was all but deserted. Thankfully, one of the security guards was only to happy to give us a guided tour of the place. It was rather surreal to be standing in 1-42, the room where I spent two very pivotal years of my life. Adding to that surrealness is that there was no one else around and the halls were so quiet. No impromptu wrestling matches, no Poison songs being played full blast. Nothing save the memories of what we had experienced there and what had happened since. Afterwards, Angela and I went over to the New Res and visited with Cheryl Bell, who is STILL the house mother of the Res. She was nice enough to give us a tour of the new res. (Man, have those kids got it good over there.) I wish I’d been working at the time. Returning to Res as an out-of-work writer wasn’t as good as it would have been had I been able to say “I’m John Milner, head writer for the WWE”…er, I mean, “I work for GDLS-C….or even Your Village News” but it’s nice to know that changed soon afterwards. I was very tempted to go to the Res Reunion in August but circumstances got in the way. If things are still progressing they way they are now, both professionally and (hopefully) personally, I probably will be making the trek to Sarnia if there’s another reunion this year.
8. After nearly a quarter of a century (wait! Can that be right?), I returned to the stage. I’d always wanted to take part in some small theatrical production. I had heard about the South Middlesex Acting Krew and, in fact, had done an article on the group in my waning days at Your Village News. However, whether it was working retail or at the paper, I never really had the kind of schedule to commit to being in a play. However, that changed with the job at GDLS-C. When I saw the ad for auditions in the Transcript, I decided to make the short drive to Appin and see what happened. As it turned out, there were two male parts and only me and Geoff (who would play Tom) turned up for the audition. I was cast as Bill, the befuddled bridegroom who wakes up on the morning of his wedding to find himself in bed with a woman who is not his fiancé. Over the course of the play, Bill must scramble to ensure to keep everyone out of the loop over what really happened, not an easy task as his best man, the bride, the bride’s mother and a chambermaid show up to throw a wrench into those plans. Although there were times where I wasn’t sure that once the lights came up, I wouldn’t draw a complete blank. However, even though I think I managed to screw just about every scene up at least once in terms of my lines, I managed to make it through all 11 performances with my dignity intact…not too shabby considering I was running around in my underwear and a blanket for about 1/3 of the first act. The audiences seemed to really enjoy the performance and were very complimentary about the shows after each. I had a number of people in the audience throughout the course of the run including my parents, my office-mates from GDLS-C and my friends Jason and Val. All of them really enjoyed themselves. I was even given a medal (no, not like the Congressional Medal of Honor) from the people at work and “the Golden Flushie” (a toilet brush with everyone’s name on it…it’s a long story..but needless to say a toilet brush is a major prop in the play). And the reaction that my folks had was really special. I think my Dad may have even been teary-eyed when he told me how proud he was of me. Both Mom and Dad were raving about how impressed they were with me. So I’m really glad I took the chance and went out for that audition. There’s another play in the spring. I’m not sure if I’ll go out for the audition but I’m thinking it probably won’t take much for me to be enticed to do so.
9. Every May, the London Free Press holds its annual Shunpiker’s Tour. I’ve always wanted to get my folks to gas up the car and take part but to date we never have. This year, however, Angela and I decided that, over the course of two weekends, we would take the Shunpiker’s Tour. The tour led us all the way to Dresden and back with stops along the way, including a detour to West Lorne, Rodney (first time I’d been in that…uh…lovely little hamlet…since 1993) and Wallaceburg. Not to mention Chatham and Thamesville. Somehow I got the bright idea to take my Joe Carter and Dwight Schrute bobbleheads along and take photos of said bobbleheads at various stops along the way. (Actually, I was inspired by similar photos of Dwight Bobbleheads on NBC.com.) It really made both trips really, really fun. Amazingly we didn’t run into anybody so noone thought it was weird that two adults were driving around Ontario placing bobbleheads in front of tourist attractions and taking photos of them. (I think I have the photo album of those trips on Facebook.)
10. I was really torn on what to put as my #10 Good Thing That Happened in 2008. There were a lot of other good things that I could have put down here. Instead of having to choose one over the others, I think I’ll just list all the “top contenders” in point form:

• going to Jeff McCallum’s house for a mini-high school reunion
• hanging out with Lyz in London and Toronto a couple of times in late summer
• the aforementioned Stryker and LAV II ride
• the Milner Plague Facebook group
• watching the American election of Barack Obama while IMing Kelly
• visiting Chris and Jim in Port Burwell
• going to a London Majors game and then to dinner with Jasons Kurn and Houlihan and Val

So yeah, a lot of very positive things happened in 2008. By the way, for those of you who are new here, don't expect all this damned positivity to become a regular feature.

But in all seriousness, I hope that everyone reading this can find something about 2008 to remember positively. I know that there are many who are looking forward to better days in 2009. I hope that for everyone, this new year holds promise, productivity and prosperity. All the best from mine to yours.

JM

So, it's late December and like any good blogger or columnist, it's time that I did a "Best of the Year" entry. Of course, what do I include in said "Best Of" column. I didn't see much in terms of movies during the later half of the year. I bought three albums (Coldplay, Carolina Liar and Alanis Morissette's Greatest Hits Package) and, save for Wrestlemania, I didn't see many of the "important" WWE or TNA shows, so I'm totally out of date in terms of Best Matches of the Year. (And really, how many of you would have read "John's Top 10 Wrestling Matches of 2008" and immediately left the premises.) I suppose I could rank the "Ten Best Office Episodes of 2008". However, instead, I have decided to post...My Top 10 Photos of 2008. (in no particular order.)

I know I've sent a few e-mails, perhaps even updated my Facebook status from Whitby, but this might be my first ever blog from the city that gave us actress A.J. Cook, Leslie McFarlane (writer of the Hardy Boys Series), World War II spy school Camp X (founded by "the Man Called Intrepid" Sir William Stephenson) and Andrew Martin, aka Test.

Wow! I almost forgot about that last one. And really, how does one forget Test?

My folks and I arrived in Whitby last night despite the best efforts of the weather. As per usual, the real trouble spots were along Highway 401. I'm really wondering just

I must give a tip of the hat to...heheheheh...sorry. I must give a ti...hehehehe....AHEM! I must give a tip of the...heheheh...to the fine people at Ge...hahahahahaha!!!

Sorry. I was just imagining trying to write that last paragraph under the same conditions as I found myself operating under as I tried to leave my phone message. Both Jim and Sean were, as usual, trying to (and succeeding in) cracking me up as I tried to change my voice mail message. It got to the point where they didn't even need to do anything, I could just sense them waiting for me to lose it and sure enough, I did.)

By the way, Sean was telling me that he read/has read my blog here. So if any of you are wondering where all the blog entries where I ripped Sean a new one went, well now you know!

I KID! I KID!

You know, there are certainly days where working at General Dynamics can be stressful, but for the first time in my life, I'm proud of the company I work for, and I'm certainly proud to tell people about the industry that I work in.

(This is not to say I'm not proud of what I accomplished working for Your Village News, but as a whole, I believe the work we do at GDLS-C is more important. Plus, we're not getting called in every few months and being told we're about to be shut down.)

As much as I may be known to bash working retail, I mean no offense when I say that I'm prouder to relate how the company I now work for builds vehicles for the Army than I do in telling them about having to go in early because the new Harry Potter went on sale or how somebody yelled at me because they didn't want to pay their $2 late charge.

And while I may have had my differences with some of my former co-workers, I also mean no disrespect to any of my former colleagues when I send a shout-out to those people I work with today. Even though my New Year's Resolution is to tone it down in this regard, it's nice to work in an office where people don't seem to mind (too much) my wacky sense of humour. (Actually, I think Sean and Jim encourage it!)

Back when we worked at the paper, Carrie, Michael, Judy and I certainly had our share of moments where work was put aside momentarily so we could joke around, and the same happens at our office. (Notice I say, "momentarily".) In retail, not only do you have management lurking around to ensure that you don't have too good a time at your job, but you have customers who seem to take up that task as well. In fact, I seem to recall some customers would actually get angry if they saw employees joking around. (Laughing when they could be helping me figure out what I want even when I'm not 100% sure? The nerve!)

But, what it all boils down to, for me, is the difference in the pride I can take from the company I keep, so to speak. I'd much rather be able to point to the Stryker and say "I work for the company that builds that" than a stack of videos and say "I shelved those" or a stack of books and say "I received those". I can watch the news and see footage of the LAV III in Afghanistan and say "that was produced at the plant I work at". I can see photos of soldiers returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan and think "those guys are probably home safe because of what we do at General Dynamics.

And I also give a tip of the hat to Shannon, our Area Manager, who let us all leave early on Tuesday. About six of us (myself, Jen, Jim, Alison, Sean and Terri) went out to East Side Mario's (which, while nice, is no Fast Eddie's) for lunch. My folks met me there and we headed for Whitby. It was great that we got out early because we were on the road during daylight hours and while we didn't beat the storm out of London, it was pretty clear by the time we got to Whitby.

Since arriving at "Jack's Place" as my folks call it, I've been doing some work on my computer (Thank goodness I brought my laptop), chatting with people on Facebook and AOLIM, working on the update for Shelf Life, and watching stuff (about 1/2 of Empire Records, the first two Office Christmas episodes).

And of course, emerging from my little office in Cathy and John's basement to visit with Jack from time to time. I brought both my still and my video camera to document more of our visit with Jack. Actually, in the midst of writing this update, I went up to see Jack and ended up with him sitting on my lap for several minutes.

Jack, at almost six months, is really intuitive now. He'll look over when you're talking to him, and smile and laugh. I love the way he opens his mouth real wide when he laughs. I really don't have to do much save smile at him and he'll start giggling away.

Don't tell Cathy but I even introduced him to some wrestling maneuvers. He has a big mat that they let him roll around on so I taught him about pinfalls. (Sorry, I couldn't take it easy on the kid. I made him do a couple of jobs before I let him go over with a "flying body press".)

Well, John's parents are due in at any time, so I'm going to close off. I will probably be back on Christmas Day or perhaps even later tonight. (I just thought of a couple more topics I could write about.) Til then, Happy Holidays every one.

Tis the weekend before Christmas, and here I sit at my laptop, waiting for the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother to load. It's a typical Saturday afternoon, where I'm wondering how long I can last before I decide to hit the sack for an afternoon nap. I shouldn't say I've gotten nothing accomplished this morning. I'm basically on track to finish the November/December update for Shelf Life. I'm hoping I can get up after the impending nap, grab my gifts out of the closet (or "Entertainment Library" as I like to call it) and wrap them while I watch my favourite Christmas movie...Wait for it...

DIE HARD!!!

What? It is too a Christmas movie! The plot summary, according to IMDB goes something like this "New York cop John McClane flies to Los Angeles on Christmas eve to spend the holidays with his family. He arrives at the Nakatomi corp. building for his wife's office party. International terrorists take over the building and hold every one as hostage to steel $600 million of bonds from the vaults of the building. Now its up to McCLane to face the terrorists and save his wife and the other hostages."

And let's face it, I'd rather sit and watch explosions and gunfire than some sappy, melodramatic weeper where a grizzled old f*rt realizes he has a heart of gold when he helps some orphans and learns the true meaning of Christmas.

Now maybe I'm just an old f*rt who needs to realize he has a heart of gold but if you want to know the true meaning of Christmas in the 21st Century, go to the mall and watch people give each other the finger and exchange F-words because one beat the other one out for a parking spot.

But it's night like I'm totally against traditional Christmas televison. After I finish cracking jokes as my Mom watches Cops (who had their traditional "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Christmas episode last week - three guesses as to what Ho! stands for when it comes to Cops), I'll be checking out the WWE Tribute to the Troops Special.

Again...it is both a Christmas show and, seeing as this is the fourth or fifth time this has happened, it is a tradition.

What's that you say? You've never heard of this before? What is "Tribute to the Troops"? Okay, ever since 9/11, the WWE has gone to Iraq (except for 2002 when they went to Afghanistan) to perform for the U.S. Servicemen and women stationed there.

That's right. Evil, soul-less money-grubbing Vince McMahon and his circus of roided-up fake wrasslers actually do something that could, if one were to be generous, be construed as a positive thing. They do travel all the way to Iraq to give these soldiers a little entertainment at a time when they must feel the seperation from their families the most. 

Wait? The WWE doing something positive? No!!!! How did that happen? :)

Of course, because it is a positive thing, no one ever hears about this outside of WWE circles. Everyone else is too busy waiting for someone to OD. So busy in fact that they don't really even go for the obvious "McMahon is just prostituting U.S. servicemen and women as a way to get ratings!"

Vince McMahon may not be a saint, but he's doing something good. He's even not afraid to make the trek himself. Yeah, maybe he's thinking about ratings and public image helping WWE stock, but I'd like to imagine he has a lot of respect for the men and women who serve his country, (WWE Service Personnel get in free to all WWE events.) And Tribute to the Troops is just his way of giving back.

Well, I'm off for that nap. Until next time...yes, this is the shiznit, watch the f*ckin' road!

And so here we are, one week until Christmas, storm warnings aplenty. I finished my Christmas shopping this evening and here I sit, at my dying laptop, flipping through ads for a new machine. I washed my hair just so I don't get up tomorrow morning and think "Damn, I should have washed my hair last night." I'm watching Episode 2 of Generation Kill. First major LAV sighting of the episode. I wonder if it was built in London. I know that GM switched over to GD in 2003, so if the Iraq invasion happened prior to that, it might not have been built here. Still cool to hear one of the Marines talk of their "respect for the LAV" and to see a vehicle I see pretty much every day.

I sent out my on-line Christmas card about a week and a half ago. Basically I'm pimping my six-month-old nephew out as a way to drive people to my blog here, so I figured I better get to updating. If this is your first time here, welcome to the new home of John's semi-regularly updated blog. It used to be that I'd only update when I had time to write some 500-600 word rant about whatever pissed me off on such and such a day.

2009 is going to be different, I would hope, in terms of a lot of things. One thing that will be different is that while I may still haul out a long-winded discussion about a certain topic, I think this will be more a platform for me to just toss up some short and sweet updates about whatever's been going on in my life.

So let's get to it: I've been working. Watching Generation Kill and hoping to get my infamous To Do list (both personally and at work) cut down to nil by Christmas break.

Today was Audrey Walsh's birthday. It was also "International Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day".  (This is why you can't just wish people Merry Christmas any more, because there are other, just as valuable, holidays at this time of year.)

I've been starting my update of Shelf Life. I'm about a month (almost two) behind on the update. I'm almost finished the November issue update and it will be up by Saturday. Meanwhile, I'm going to try and get the December issue update finsihed this weekend. I also have four books that I need to write the reviews for and send off.

As stated earlier (for those with the same calibre of short-term memory as me) I finished up the last bit of Christmas shopping tonight. I was in Westmount, surrounded by more memories than fellow shoppers. I thought I saw Liz Webb in the food court, but I'm not sure.

Oh, I'll warn you now: if I think I see you in the mall (or any place else for that matter) it may be up to you to come over and say "Hi!" unless I'm 100% sure it is you. I tend not to want to stare to make sure.

Current reading: Last Flag Down by John Baldwin and Ron Powers about the voyage of the CSS Shenandoah that sailed (literally around the world) from England to Australia, Japan, the coast of Alaska, around the bottom of South America and back to England. So far, it's a bit dry but it's an interesting story so I'm hoping it will pick up.

Ah crap! I just realized that I missed tonight's repeat of the Office. I thought Bad Santa was supposed to be on, but according to the on-screen guide, they were going to broadcast Crime Aid. That was a fun episode but, it's not like I forgot to watch a first-run episode.

And double-crap. TNA is on! Another New Year's Resolution for 2009 is to watch more wrestling. I know, some people may say "MORE wrestling" but really I've fallen out of the habit of really WATCHING wrestling. Usually, it's more a case where I've got it on in the background while I'm doing something else.

Well, that's enough for now. I'm outta here. Until the next time we meet, take it easy, don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.

It's the least wonderful time of the year.

That's right, folks. It's Christma..er, I mean, the holiday sea... Wait. Can we come to a consensus on what we're to call this season (other than F&+#$% Winter!) ?

See, this is why there is so much conflict and stress in the world. We can't even put aside our differences to figure out a way to send each other best wishes at what greeting card companies tell us is supposed to be such a joyous occassion.

And really, are the holidays really all that joyous an occassion? And I'm not talking just in retail, although I'll start there.

I realize it's been three long years since I had to work retail over the Christmas season but really, how much can it have changed? I really don't think that as soon as ol' JM left his job at the mall, every customer decided to be nice and understanding and cut their ignorance level to nil. If I went back to Coles or Blockbuster and stood behind the counter for eight hours, I'm willing to bet every single penny I have that the ignorance and rudeness of the average retail customer at Christmas will still be at pre-2006 levels. :)

And while I've heard that the malls are quieter this year, thanks to the failing economy, I'm guessing that dealing with the rush of a mall on a Saturday afternoon for eight hours in the weeks before Christmas is still like going to war without the LAVs or Strykers to back you up.

But here's the kicker: Over the last couple of years, there has been a movement afoot to make the holidays even more stressful for those who work in retail. (Okay, I'm sure it's not a concerted effort to make the lives of retail workers even more miserable...)

See, for many years, retail workers have been able to wish everyone a "Happy Holidays" without fear that they might be offending anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Of course, I always felt it was kind of a kick in the face to us retailers, wishing people "Happy Holidays" when we're in the midst of being run off our feet for eight-plus hours a day and having to work right up until the last moments pre-Christmas and then having to be in extra early on Boxing Day (unless you work at Blockbuster or some other place where the high-paid big wigs, in the midst of a two week vacation, decide you have to work Christmas Day so the store can earn a few extra bucks), In a way, it was almost like saying "Enjoy your time off from those of us who have to work even harder to serve you at the expense of similar time with our own family and friends. Feel free to make us feel like crap because we can't fulfill all your gift-giving needs when you show up at 5 minutes to close on Christmas Eve or can't figure out what you mean when you 'I need that thing I saw on TV' or are unable to deal with 5 customers at once." 

But over the last couple of years, that safety net of "Happy Holidays" has begun to be taken away. Apparently there is an increasingly vocal segment of the population who take great offense to being wished "Happy Holidays" or "Seasons Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas".

So, if I get this straight, the poor b&st#rds stuck behind the festive cash registers this year, in addition to having to listen to 56 different versions of Winter Wonderland and having people deposit themselves at the cash and expect you to run around and find everything on their 10-page list, they now have to worry that they'll find themselves chewed out because they offended someone by wishing them "Happy Holidays".  What is expected? To have to preface every transaction with "How would you like to be greeted?"

Geez, can we give the retail workers a break, especially at this time of year? Leave them "Seasons Greetings" or "Happy Holidays". Or hey, how about they just don't wish anybody anything? And why stop at the retailers. Why not pass a law that say you can;'t wish anyone anything.

 Not "Merry Christmas" because that might offend anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Not "Happy Holidays" because that might offend anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas.  Not "Good morning" because what if they're from another time zone where it's now evening. Not "Hello" because what if they don't use English as their native tongue.

How about we just stop talking to other people altogether? There'd be a great way to promote peace and harmony.

So, as I type this, I'm about two hours away from leaving for the Ekfrid Community Centre to take part in the third performance of "Perfect Wedding". So far, despite everyone flubbing lines and jumping all over the page, we've pulled off a couple of pretty good performances. Before, during (as in during the coffee break between Acts 1 and 2) and after the performances, we all laugh about where we forgot lines or got mixed up.

There are several scenes that I...well, I wouldn't use the word "dread" but I find myself kinda nervous about performing. Actually, it's pretty much every scene...heheh! I kid, but there have been times where I've thought "Did I get that right? Did I forget something?" However, since the rest of the cast is in the same boat, I don't feel so bad.

Last night, there was one scene where the phone was supposed to ring and both the bride and I are supposed to pick up the phone at the same time, only to realize that it's the best man's cell phone. When we got to that point in the script the sound effect didn't go off. The best thing I could think of was to say "Isn't that the phone?" as in "I think I hear my mother calling me" (plus I hoped that the actress playing the bride -in the next room- would pick up on it and pick up the phone and we'd do the scene. Instead I went over picked up the phone and said "Hello", looked puzzled and hung up. Then when the phone did finally "ring" I looked really perplexed and picked up the phone again. Even after the phone conversation ended, I picked up the phone again as much to say "What is up with this phone?"

My parents were in the audience on Saturday night, which made the performance all the more special. I guess my folks were a little nervous because earlier in the week I had been asking my Mom to help me practice my lines and I was kinda stumbling. However, they were both raving about my performance. I guess after the first act, Dad turned to Mom and said "I didn't know he could act like that." They seemed to like everything from the meal to the set design to the lighting to, of course, my acting (especially my facial expressions).

Cathy and John were supposed to come down for this weekend to see the play, with my folks coming for the final performance on December 7th. However with the bad weather on Friday they decided to stay in Whitby and so my folks went instead. I think my folks are secretly hoping there is more bad weather on the weekend of December 7th so they can come out again.

(The December 7th show is sold out, plus someone needs to babysit Jack.)

So, in just a little bit, I am off for Show #3 of 11. Hopefully everything goes as well tonight as it did the previous two nights.

I'm sure there's a better way to seque (hey, it rhymes!) but I can't think of one.

Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is still in the news, only this time for something she did as the Governor of Alaska, rather than as a failed Vice Presidential Candidate. Apparently every year, the Governor (and I'm assuming not just in Alaska) pardons a turkey on Thanksgiving. Well, this year, as Governor Palin was offering the chosen turkey his pardon, camera crews caught sight of other turkeys being slaughtered in the background.

I hate to say it, but I think Palin is going to be one of those public figures that the media focuses more on the negative than the positive. I mean, I have to wonder how many media showed up, not to cover the "pardon" but to see how they could spin things in a negative way. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Palin was the smartest choice as a VP candidate but her situation reminds me of that scene in Nixon where he's returning from the first visit to China and all the press can talk about is Watergate.

But I don't bring up this story to give my two cents on Palin (although I think I just did). In the London Free Pree article about this pardon, they noted that Palin was discussing what she had to be thankful for, including the fact that "her son's Stryker brigade is relatively safe in Iraq." So, that was kinda interesting, knowing that Palin's son is, even as I type (and you read) sitting in a vehicle built, at least partially, in the same plant I work in.

Tonight is the WWE Survivor Series and one of the key matches is the WWE title match pitting Triple H against Vladimir Kozlov and Jeff Hardy. Many prosnosticators believed that tonight would be the night that Jeff Hardy finally rose to the top of the mountain, broke the glass ceiling and became World Champion.

Except...

Except that Jeff Hardy was found unconscious in the stairwell of his room this morning and is in a Boston hospital. So once again, Jeff Hardy ends up blowing yet another chance at winning the big one. One need only refer back to Wrestlemania when he was so over to the point where it was expected he would win the Money in the Bank Match and then cash it in later in the evening, so that the "Main Event" was Hardy winning the World Championship on "the Grandest Stage of them All". Except that he got nailed for a Wellness Violation and suspended.

Somewhere between then and now he was pulled off a plane for being intoxicated and now, just when it seemed the WWE had enough faith in him to give him the WWE title, this latest episode happens. Perhaps Jeff just slipped and fell and this latest setback is more bad luck than bad choices.

But I think if Hardy's unconsciousness is another "Wellness Policy" violation, then no matter how much the crowd pops for him, he needs to be given his walking papers. The WWE is wanting to trim $20 million from its operating budget (I could think of several things they could do in that regards) which means that a lot of workers who have done a lot less to deserve it will be wished well on their future endeavors. (Hey, Paul London just smiled at McMahon right before the whole "Who killed McMahon" angle began and was in the doghouse ever since!) If WWE wants to get rid of a fair chunk of change, they can do so by sending Hardy on his way.

At the very least, Hardy has proven time and time (and time and time) again that he can not be relied upon, so giving him the main title on Smackdown and pushed to the moon is not the right thing to do. Hey, WWE got rid of the Honk-a-meter even though it was becoming one of the funniest thing in wrestling (to the point there was even a Facebook application regarding it), then they can certainly derail any future Hardy pushes.

And one more reference to wrestling before I go. As some of you may know, there's actually a Hollywood-type wrestling movie coming out called "the Wrestler". It's not a remake of the 1970s flick with Ed Asner and Verne Gagne. Instead it stars Mickey Rourke as an aging wrestler on the comeback trail and his relationship with a stripper (Marisa Tomei) and his estranged daughter (Evan Rachel Wood). It must be the greatest movie ever made because, despite it's content (it's about PRO WRESTLING), the critics aren't crapping all over it. Instead, they've lauded Rourke for his performance.

I watched the trailer yesterday (complete with the Bruce Springsteen theme song, Angela!) and as much as I wanted to see it before, I want to see it even more now. Check out the trailer:

And on that note, I am off. Wish me luck on my future endeavours, and by that I mean my next performance.

So there's this press release that's been making its way around the Internet, or at least that part of the Internet that's interested in wrasslin' type stuff:

TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION (TNA) WRESTLING INVITES ALASKA GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN TO JOIN “THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE”

TNA ANNOUNCES SPECIAL “SARAH PALIN CEREMONY” FOR DECEMBER 7 AT ITS “FINAL RESOLUTION” PAY-PER-VIEW IN ORLANDO. TNA AGREES TO DONATE $50,000 TO GOV. PALIN’S FAVORITE CHARITY OR ALASKAN YOUTH HOCKEY LEAGUE.

Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling has announced that it is formally inviting Alaska governor and former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin to become an honorary member of “The Beautiful People,” the elite group of TNA Knockouts led by Angelina Love and Velvet Sky.

TNA officials said a “Sarah Palin Ceremony” is scheduled for December 7 at its “Final Resolution” pay-per-view as part of her “Honorary TNA Knockout” membership in The Beautiful People, and TNA President Dixie Carter will personally fly Gov. Palin and her husband, Todd, from their home in Anchorage to Orlando, Florida, for the December event.

TNA Wrestling will make the formal invitation to Gov. Palin Thursday, November 13, on “TNA iMPACT!” at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Spike.

TNA will present Gov. Palin with a $50,000 check at “Final Resolution” made out to the charity of her choice, or will make the donation to the youth hockey association in her native Wasilla, Alaska.

“Governor Palin has combined her experiences as a wife and mother with her political savvy to prove to America and the world that politics aren’t just a man’s game. I know firsthand what challenges you have to face when breaking a glass ceiling in a male-dominate profession,” Carter said.

Oh TNA...Oh TNA of Samoa Joe vs. A.J. Styles! Oh TNA of Chris Sabin and Petey Williams and Christopher Daniels (when he's not Curry Man) and the entire X Division! Is this really how far you've fallen? Must you recreate yourself into the resurrected WCW that the naysayers have made you out to be.

Hiring Vince Russo was one nail in the coffin. Hiring up every WWE cast-off short of Hulk Hogan (and you even tried luring him in, didn't you?) was another. Bringing in a bad version of the NWO was nearly it. But now, after the whole Pacman Jones debacle of last year, you have to go and try and pander to the same mainstream types that have ridiculed us wrestling fans for time and memorium.

And to do it by getting the biggest joke in American politics since Dick Cheney and Spiro Agnew? What? Carrottop wasn't available? Richard Simmons was out of your price range? By the first weekend in December, Sarah Palin's fifteen minutes will be up. Even Tina Fey will have moved on. 

And really, what do you hope to accomplish? Vince McMahon's temporary brush with mainstream appeal with Mr. T and Mike Tyson were fleeting and for every snippet of Austin flipping off Tyson in 1998 there was some snide remark about how wrestling was fake and only morons watched it. Sure, Tyson's involvement in wrestling helped pull-start a resurgence in popularity, but it was because the guy he was paired with (Austin) had the charisma to keep those fans who tuned in to see Tyson tuning in to see his war with McMahon.

It wasn't the celebrity involvement that fueled the wrestling resurgence of the late 1990s. It was the storylines and characters. It was a case where Tyson put wrestling on the radar screen, and the WWF (or WWE now) put in the effort to keep fans tuning in.

But for every Tyson moment, there was a dozen Butterbeans and K-Feds and (over in WCW) Dennis Rodmans and (shudder) World Champion David Arquettes: c-list celebrities involved in lackluster angles that even wrestling fans didn't care about.

What McMahon has never really realized, any more than Russo has, is that a joke of a "celebrity" (and with her VP bid having failed, Pallin is less a political force than simply a punchline) isn't going to make the non-fan sit up and go "Oh my God! Governor Pallin is appearing at a wrestling show? I gotta tune in!"

Instead, all that's going to happen is what few media watchdog forums (I'm looking at you TMZ.com!) take note are going to make a joke of it, probably at equal parts Pallin's and wrestling's expense) and by the time the thirty second clip is over, everyone will have forgotten about it. It will not draw one additional fan to the TNA product (oh geez...can you imagine the mileage that people will have with Pallin being involved in a "TNA/T&A" show? That might make this last 45 seconds) and instead may serve only to alienate any borderline fans that may be looking for another reason to tune off the endless parade of promos and filler segments.

If TNA truly wants to establish themselves as an alternative to the WWE product, they'd be far smarter to not emulate the Big E. Instead of hauling out whatever useless borderline celebrity is willing to show up for a quick buck and having to listen to the crowd boo the entire segment, TNA would be smart to remember that they, unless the WWE apparently, are still trying to pass themselves off as a WRESTLING company. Use the out-of-ring elements as a way to produce interest in the in-ring product, rather than the other way around.