1 post tagged “roots”

So tonight is the 4256th Emmy Awards and my friend Kelly (you know Kelly, she's awesome, no?) wants to live blog the Emmies and asked me to blog along with her. I've never live-blogged anything before. Well, I've written a few blogs of Smackdown and/or Raw over on my Geocities blog (www.geocities.com/docmilner) but usually I just type it up as I'm watching and then edit it and post it the next day. This is going to be a little different, as I'll have to post and then repost all night.

If for some unknown reason you stumbled upon this blog BEFORE Kelly's...check out her blog at http://khager.vox.com/ It's going to be WAY better. For one thing, she has actually live-blogged before and probably isn't going to either gush over the Office and any appearance by the newly-single Jenna Fischer and I guarantee you that she's not going to keep sneaking references to WWE Unforgiven into this blog.

6:45 pm - Okay, I'm watching an episode of Friends, emailing my friend Angela, messaging my friend Kelly and trying to get my room cleaned up for Monday. Who says I can't multi-task? By the way, thanks to Kelly and RobbbieDobbbie for already commenting on my blog.

 7:00 Wow! I so want to see TMZ on Fox on Monday. Apparently they're going to have a segment on how K-Fed stays famous despite doing nothing. I would suggest that K-Fed is not alone in being able to do that. (He does have a pinfall victory over WWE Champion John Cena. Technically he should have demanded a title match!)

 2007 Countdown to the Emmies Show begins. Mean Gene Okerlund should be hosting this...and have the nominees cut promos on their opponents. James Gandolfini: Well, let me tell you something Mean Gene. I don't know what this piddly-paddly Hugh Laurie's thinking, brother, climbing into the Danger Zone with the Big G, with the power of the 24 inch pythons behind me. And whatchya gonna do when Soprano-mania runs wild on you!!!!

Hey, Denis Leary. Oh...what a sucky promo. He basically puts Gandolfini over...and no foul language. No smoking. No talk about doing drugs back in the 70s. Aw, crap!  That whole Invasion of the Body Snatchers is real, and the aliens got to Denis Leary first! What's with this PC "I'm just honoured to be nominated" crap?  (I'm kidding. Good show by Leary! And I recently picked up Season 1 of Rescue Me and I've been watching Season 3!)

7:14 I have now moved out of my room and into the living room so I'm basically blogging via remote...which is pretty cool. And now, Steve Carrell and his wife (who played Carol on the Office) is being interviewed. My Mom even says she thinks Carrell is "nice-looking. I mean he's kinda...his nose is kinda long, but I can't talk about that." I love the Office and my Mom is slowly getting into it, (my Dad still wonders why it's on) so I'm hoping to eventually convert my entire family into Office fans.

Ontario Premier Dalton McGinty is on TV, talking about how he's all for public schools...Yeah, that's why there's at least three schools within shouting distance of where I'm typing that are threatened with being closed, including the high school I attended. But I won't get into politics here.

7:25 Why do they keep asking "Who are you wearing?" I know it's a big part of the whole "pre-game" show but just once I'd like to hear someone say "I don't know...it looked good, so..." Also, am I going to appear sexist if I mention that the biggest selling point of most of these gowns seems to be how much cleavage they can show off?

 7:33: Eva something or other (from Desperate Housewives) is talking about how "TV is at its best right now"...Sure, every new original series debuting has a lifespan of about 3 episodes, to be replaced by another reality show that's a rip-off of American Idol. TV "at its best".

Okay, I never realized that Rachel Griffins and the guy from House were English before. They've hidden the acccents so well.

7:49 - Patricia Heyden and Kelsey Grammer and their respective spouses are chatting about having been repeat nominees, etc... Meanwhile, I am posting pics from the Lancers game last night on my Facebook page. (Hey, I gotta keep busy, right? Man can not live on blog alone.)

8:00 - "Never before in history have we had such a wide variety of trash." - Stewie from the Family Guy. Amazing how we get more truth from an animated character than from a real actress.

 8:04 - Kristin Bell was just sighted, and we're less than 5 minutes into the show...and Ryan Seacrest is bombing! The celebs he's pointing out are getting more of a pop than the jokes Seacrest is telling.

 8:07 - And we're on to the first award. THAT was Seacrest's opening. Okay next year, I"m hosting this show! I can point out people in the audience.

JM: Hi...I'm John Milner and welcome to the 254th Emmy Awards. Look there's the cast of the Office. Hey, there's William Shatner....And now the first award...Hell, Ray Ramano is doing a better job of hosting the show. His jokes are better, he's more topical. Yeah, let Ray host next year.

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Dougie Houser, John Densmore, Ducky Dale, the guy from Grosse Point Blank/PCU and Dwight Schrute

DAMN! Jeremy Piven won! I liked him in Grosse Point Blank but damn, I wanted Dwight to win. "We don't have a bobblehead of him" - My Mom

And we go right from that to Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: I think i have almost No opinion  on who wins this one. I can't even remember my pick...Oh yeah, the guy from Heroes. Do you think he's here WITH Kristen Bell? Are they an item? Or is Bell on Heroes?

Winner: Terry O'Quinn...from Lost (?) My Mom called an audible for William Shatner. Where else have I see Terry O'Quinn? He looks familiar.

Mom: "Did whatshere face get there? Britney? They've been talking about how she's going to be there...like anybody cares?"

Dad: "Yeah but if she hadn't f&cked up on the other show, she wouldn't be on the Emmies so someone's programmed her ahead of time!"

 I think this is where my parents learn all the shows they wish they'd watched.

8:22 - Did Seacrest just out Paula Abdul's Weed habit?

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series - PAM! PAM! PAM's GOTTA WIN!

If Pam doesn't win, I'm totally gonna blog Unforgiven!

Jamie Priestley? Pressley? Pressly?  OH FOR *&^%@$@!#@$@%(&#(Q&(@(&$@#%^^!$@$&@@^@*!!*$^@*@**@^*@^*^*%^*^ ,,,,breath...breath.... !$&#()&*&%#@%*!!!!! And just for a change of pace (&^@@!*&T@(&%$$%%@*((#)*&^^))!!!!

I'm not sure if any of you are quite grasping just how much this SUCKS!!!!!

Best Supporting Actor in a MiniSeries or Movies: I don't watch Mini Series or Movies so I;m basically going for whatever actor I like in other things. Ed Asner maybe?

And I am O for the whole damn show! THe only positive so far is that they're showing commericals for Across the Universe. So want to see that, even if it does look really wierd! And hey, CM Punk retained his ECW Championship. (Sorry, I said that if Pam lost, I was blogging the pay-per-view.)

8:34 Ellen introduces what eventually is a montage of one-liners but she spends so much time talking about how she had no idea what was coming that we realize SHE'S not joking! (Or she's really good at acting clueless!) Nice segue to the tribute to Tom Snyder (I hope I spell the name right.)

Best Supporting Actress in a Dramatic Show: Okay, I was Katherine Heigl to win, but Kelly says it's okay to cheer for Sandra Oh...Actually there's a third Grey's Anatomy candidate so my pick is...someone from Grey's Anatomy. But hey, it's cool to see Heigl get it. She was funny in Knocked Up.

 Okay...cutest couple in terms of the presenters: John Cryer and Jennifer Love Hewitt, to present the writing award for comedy, musical varietty. Cool way to present the list of nominees. Best segment of the night so far. Late Night with Conan O'Brien won.

8:50 - Best commercial of the evening, the combination of Dancing With the Stars and Corner Gas, advertising the fact that both shows are hosting their season premieres soon, perhaps the same night? I know Corner Gas is premiering on September 24th. Really don't care when or if Dancing With the Stars premieres. Hey, anyone who has access to WGN, now you Yanks can see the 2nd best comedy show on the air today. (The Office is still #1.)

8:52 - Okay, first pointless musical number of the night. Thankfully I was blogging, so it kinda flew by, and from that we've got the award for Best Directing for a Comedy, Variety or Musical, which goes to Tony Bennett's show. And considering that Bennett was just on, there's no suprise there! There was one music awards some years ago. (And when I say some years ago, I'm talking like the mid-80s. where they had a bunch of musical acts and every single time someone performed, they won the next award presented. It got kinda pointless to watch.

And we follow up with the Best Lead Actor, Movie or Mini-Series. Again, don't really care. Robert Duvall wins and refers to Kiefer Sutherland as a fellow Horsemen. Okay, Duvall, you ain't Ric Flair so don't go talking about...oh, not that kind of Horsemen. Duvall mentions he went to Calgary for his role, which is strange since he said a few years ago he didn't want to work in Canada any more.

Hey...there's a Fox blogger talking about how great the show is...Like he was going to say "Yeah, you suck Seacrest! This show blows!"

Queen Latifah is talking about Roots. Apparently my parents watched this faithfully, but my Mom wants to know what Queen Latifah's real first name is. She also thought Ed Asner was dead.

I can't believe MVP and Matt Hardy retained the Tag Team titles...but geez, Triple H goes over Carlito...there's a suprise.! And man, I really need to start watching more TV mini series and movies, I remember really enjoying watching North and South, V, the Winds of War. Man, they need to  make more war movies on TV. If they would make a 10-part series on the Battle of Britain starring Jenna Fischer and Harrison Ford...I'd totally watch it

So now it's Guest Actors and Actress on a Drama Series. Not sure why they're doing these two lists together and did they ever announce a winner for Best Actor?

Best Directing - Dramatic Series: Well, the Sopranos winning is about as big a suprise as Triple H winning. I would have liked to have seen Friday Night Lights win

And Dougie and the Cheerleader anre back to introduce best writing: I'm guessing the Sopranos win again since there's three episodes nominated. And sure enough, the Sopranos win. Okay, someone needs to step in and...you know...DIRECT the Emmies!

Candice Michelle retains the Women's title against Beth Pheonix. That's right, WWE, keep the belt on the eye candy when there's a decent worker (Pheonix) right there! I wonder if they'll keep the WWE Diva Search mainly an "on-line" thing...rather than waste up to 20 minutes on Raw, and keep ignoring the fact that the live audience is booing the entire segment. And it's not a GOOD kind of booing. More like the way they booed the Rock when he first showed up.

9:20 And the show is looking up with an appearance by Steve Carrell..And now, the rest of the cast makes an appearance... Yay!  Steve is there to announce the award for best comedy/musical or variety show. Mom: How many times are these guys getting nominated.  Yeah. it does seem as if every nominee is from the same three or four shows.

And hey, Michael Scott...er, Steve Carrell is sticking around to do the Music/'Variety/Comedy Special. I expected Tony Bennett would win and sure enough. Okay, boring category...but it's cool that Steve Carrell got to be on the show again.

Mom: This is about as interesting as watching grass grow.

So Tony introduces his (trophy) wife. Mom: I thought it was his granddaughter.

Next up: Best Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series/Movie: Man...I figured the Emmies was going to be easier to blog than, say, the Grammies or the Daytime Emmies. I have no clue who to cheer for.

Mom: (of Mark Harmen who presented the Award) : He looks thrilled to be there!

And the winner (Judy Davis) has disappeared. Or is just so bored that she fell asleep? Well...you know, they just had that cool segment of the Office...shouldn't that she have at least pepped up for that? Maybe she said "this show blows" and went home early.

Meanwhile, my parents are critiquing the way my fingers look when I'm typing. Apparently I hold my ring finger on my right hand right up as I type. I have no clue why I would do that. Now they're debating which side of the family I get it from.

 Made for TV Movie: Saw a total of 0! So I have no opinion on Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee...save that I remember seeing a paperback edition of the novel at my neighbour's house once (I think it belonged to my neighbour's brother who died in a motorcycle accident in 1981) so that's what I think of it whenever I heard about Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee.

Well, my parents are getting into the Jersey Boy performance.

9:43: My Mom's reaction as the cast of the Sopranos come up on stage: Ewww!!! Ewww!!! Ewww!!! THere are some ugly people there. Man, I thought they were Larry Moe and Curly there...I suppose if you don't clap, you get anhillated.  

My thoughts: They called all these guys up on stage and then they go to Commercial.

My parents and I are now debating the whole Making Out in the Woods vs. Country Roads issue. (Don't ask me how we got on that topic. Less is better in terms of knowledge of where we stand.)

 Hey, it's the guy from Can't Buy Me Love and Frog from Smokey and the Bandit to hand out Oh goodness, it's anothe rmovie/mini-series award. Mom: (and me) Where do they get all these mini-series, I haven't seen any of them!

 Helen Mirren wins, and gives the best speech so far. And in other news: Batista wins the World Championship. You know who I hoped would win the title? "Anyone by the Great Khali" so we're good.  

9:52 - I kinda recognize Lewis Black but I'm liking what he's having to say here! Although who's idea was it to have him on...again, they need someone DIRECTING this show. Okay...other than Dwight and Pam losing, there hasn't been one damn bit of this show (awards-wise) that I care about! Call me when the "Mini-Series/Movies/Late Night Talk Show" Emmies are over and the Prime Time Emmies come back on!

 10:00 Man, they need to give Dalton McGinty an award, he's been seen so much tonight. But in the upcoming Ontario provincial election, the PC nominee is named..John Tory??? Somebody was thinking ahead.

10:04 Oh...man, the guy from Heroes is there, talking about TV on the Internet.I thought he was going to be blogging or something..."Dude, I'm totally here with Kristen Bell! I'm totally going to see what Veronica Mars looks like naked tonight!!!" My Mom is upset at the guy's hair. Mom: If my son's hair looked like that, I'd brush it. I guess that guy's mother didn't care!" Dad (about Al Gore, who got some Interactive TV award): I really thought they'd talk him into running!

 10:08 Tony Bennett wins for best individual performance for Musical or Variety; Mom: Oh Tony, go home and take your Viagra. Me (when Tony thanks "his two lovely daughters"): Both are whom are older than your current wife.

And now they at least mention that the Guest Actors and Actresses awards were already given out and actually reveal who won both awards. And the Guest Actress pulls an Ellen and doesn't have a clue what to do next. Okay, if the director of this Emmies gets a nomination for Best Director of a Variety or Musical or Special..or whatever...the awards are rigged.

Speaking of Best Directing. Best Directing in a Comedy Series goes to the show my Mom predicted would win: Ugly Betty. Man...another Office snub. But hey, Best Writing in a Comedy Series means two Office nominees...come on, there's gotta be a winner for the Office, right?

YES! THE OFFICE!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!  Okay, this show just got better. Although as Kelly said "I'm glad this guy is funnier on paper." Yeah!

 Mom and Dad are now passing the time by talking about how Dad will fart once he gets into bed. Mom: You'll let another one go and I'll think I got shot.

10:23 I'm leaving Ryan Seacrest and his latest wardrobe choice alone. Wayne Brady makes us all laugh by saying Seacrest is "looking like a medieval pimp."

 They're going to have "Don't Forget the Lyrics" Contest to introduce the next award: YEAH!!! DWIGHT SCHRUTE IN THE BUILDING EVERYBODY...he's competeing against Kanye West. (For a "random drawing" I'd heard about it several days ago.) They'll be singing "the Songs of Kanye West" Mom: Who? Me: The guy they just mentioned!

And yeah! Dwight Wins! My Mom thinks Kanye West looks like "P. Diddley!" My Mom, the veritable encyclopedia of knowledge of rap music. To her, every African American rap artist is...P. Diddley!

Amazing Race wins. And yet Monday Night Raw and Smackdown are shut out...why? To me, the best wrestling shows have way better production values...and at no point on Raw have two different performers completely blank out and not have a clue what they're to be doing. They at least deserve a best directing for a special, etc. Man...bring back the Slammies. At least it was interesting from beginning to end.

 Okay, it's 10:33 and both world championship matches are over. Did I blog that Murdoch and Cade retained. And Orton beat Cena by DQ. What else is left. Oh yeah, Taker vs. Mark Henry...THAT's your main event? 

I don't want to say that my parents aren't enjoying watching the Emmies but my Mom just said "Oh, this is torture...It's BORRRRING!!!!

My Dad is upset that Steve Colbert made that joke about being glad that Gore isn't president.

Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Ricky Gervais...who technically played the Michael Scott character on the UK version of the Office...and Steve Carrell gets the actual award. YAY!!!!

Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Sally Field. That's nice to see. No offence but Sally Field's speech against the War would have been better if she hadn't been cut off and then stammered for ten minites. Dad: "There'll be something in the paper about that tomorrow."

 Somehow My Mom got the idea that since they showed a clip of The Patty Duke Show during the tribute to Sidney Sheldon that Patty Duke died. These "In Memoriam" segments are always moving.

Man...I never realized just how much Charles Nelson Riley looked like Rainn Wilson.

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: My Dad questions Desperate Housewives being a comedy while my Mom finally discovers just who Mary-Louise Parker is...and Ugly Betty America Ferrera wins.

Oh..when Seacrest congratulated America, I was like "What did that have to do with the U.S...Oh...THAT America!"

 Man, they wasted so much time with the Mini-Series/Variety Show that they're really rushing through the rest of this.

Lead Actor Drama Series...James...Spader? (Mom: He's scary. He's the same guy who was in Pretty In Pink. He's fat)  Well, I assumed it was a James but I figured the next word was Gandolfini. Spader gives the least coherent acceptance speech of all time.

Okay, sorry gang but once the Office wins/loses the Best Comedy Series, I'm outta here.

Speaking of which. best comedy series...goes to 30 Rock!

Remember all the faux swearing I did when Pam lost...Well quadruple it!

So...the Office goes 0 for 4????? Academy of TV Arts or whatever...YOU SUCK!!!!

I'm going to assume hte Sopranos win the Best Drama Series and say "goodnight everybody!"

My Dad sums it up best "That was one dud of a show!" You tell 'em, Dad. Of course, I'm bitter because the Office got shut out. If they'd gone 4 for 4, I'm guessing I'd be a little more lenient.

Oh, and speaking of duds, Taker defeated Mark Henry. It's been fun (okay not really), Mark, but next time you need to actually, you know, be interesting rather than just big. So...that indeed was the Main Event of WWE Unforgiven. Jeez...who booked this crap? The same guy that directed the Emmies? 

And in the category of "Biggest Disappointment On Tonight's Emmy Awards", the nominees are...

(1) The Office goes 0-4 in the major categories and 1-6 in all categories.  (This is offset by an appearance by Dwight, Pam, Jim and of course, Michael!)

(2) The fact that 70% of the show was taken up by awards for mini-series, movies and variety shows

(3) That I missed Ray Ramano drop the F-bomb. (I swear I was listening closely!)

(4) That they couldn't have come up with a better host than Ryan Seacrest.

And the award goes to...well, I'll leave that up to you.